By the time my mom got to the house, I was feeling okay. But when we sat down, I could feel her prying eyes, noticing the finger marks on and around the light switches and the piece of wrapper my son had left on the floor. She even went on about a story of friend who had bought her son and daughter-in-law a VERY nice dining table only to have the inconsiderate DIL use it for a craft table and destroy it. She went on about how bad their carpet looked and so on. Now, I do not have the benefit having two "perfect" children as mother supposedly did. (Actually, we were just scared to do anything wrong, according to my brother.) Instead, I have a daughter who was ill as a child and threw up neon yellow medicine on my light beige carpet and a boy who loves to jump on the furniture like he is an action hero. I told her she was talking about me. She tried to make excuses that she wasn't talking about me, but knew exactly what she was trying to say.
Why do I feel I need her approval for something like this?? Is her never ending disapproval what causes me to just throw my hands up in the air and give up. As if to say, "I can never be what you want me to be, so why should I try anymore."
Today, I will say. I am good enough. I am happy with my house. I know there are things I would like to do differently. But for today??
TODAY, I AM JUST FINE!