So I Was Just Thinking

The mission should you choose to take it is a simple one: Accompany your mother to a doctor's appointment and drive her to an IKEA in a major metropolitan area. Things to consider before accepting this job are as follows: Every route you will take will be under construction. Your mother will not want to walk through the parking lot at the hospital because she is late. She does not want to pay for valet parking. You will be required to sit in a waiting room for an hour watching a myriad of sick people wander by. Your only entertainment will be an oversized aquarium and your eleven old daughter who is listening to her new iPod. After her appointment, your mother will want to eat lunch, delaying the trip to IKEA. Your mother will ask you where you want to eat, knowing that there are only two places in town that she is willing to eat. You will get to listen to your mother describe the many difficulties she has eating, including, but not limited to her inability to open her mouth more t...

When I was little, my mother put me in ballet classes. I think she thought I was too chubby. I couldn't have been more than 4. I remember going to those classes in my black leotard, pink tights and pink leather slippers thinking, "Don't I look cute?" Our teacher would make us practice our splits, but I don't think I was able to do them. Even back then, I would get lost in thought and forget to switch legs when she told us to. After that year, my mom never enrolled me again. I never forgot that. Fifteen years later, my roommate and I tried out for cheerleader in college. I had never done it before - I was known as a dyed in the wool "band geek/flag twirler." Tryouts were fun, but I didn't make it. I called my mother to let her know, and her only comment was, "Well, you were never very coordinated." It was like a stab to the heart. Weren't moms supposed to console you no matter how bad you were at something? A few years later I became an ...