Be Happy Anyway

Be Happy Anyway
From Brave Girls Club

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Ring, Ring - Dad Calling

I woke up this morning to the strangest thing...a phone call from my father. Yes, I was dreaming. The realness of the voice that came through that dream state phone, however, woke me out of my sleep. It was a series of strange events that can barely be remembered involving a Mary Kay conference, children running up and down the conference center aisles, my daredevil cousin driving us through culverts trying to outrun who-knows-what, a ship crashing into the overpass and Leonard Nimoy reaching for his Star Trek action figure before our vehicle disintegrated into pieces. How did those happenings bring me to my Mary Kay director's office making notes on sticky Post-Its where the phone rang? One would think that anyone of those bizarre things would have woken me, but it was that phone call that did the trick.

The phone call was a simple one..."Hi, it's Dad," and then he was gone. A day doesn't go by that I don't think of him out of either necessity or out of nostalgia, but I do think about him. The following are situations or reasons my father comes into the forefront of my mind:
  1. I have lost my good set of keys again.
  2. My front tire is low and needs to be aired up.
  3. This week I just had the first of many birthdays without him.
  4. I am planning a mini road trip to Abilene next weekend. (He was a big time driver.)
  5. I forgot my camera for Caitlin's first band concert. (He never would have forgotten.)
  6. Mom has started driving Dad's little pickup truck as her primary vehicle.
  7. I can't get my lawnmower started.
  8. The ushers at church don't usher they way he did.
  9. My iPhoto files are full of his pictures to North Carolina to see my brother.
  10. A woman approached me in the store this week and said, "You don't know me, but I worked with your father at the Pregnancy Center. We really miss him there." (The director for the center told me that she didn't get the mail for weeks because that was Dad's self-appointed job.)
  11. Tuesday, I ran into the secretary from the funeral home where my father helped other people through their grief.
When you see someone everyday, you don't think about what it will be like to not have them filling that niche in your life. It's like they are on vacation, but not coming back. Well, I wish he would come back because I need to mow my lawn.


Jan said...

Wow, what remembrances and involved he was in your life. The phone call from him was neat. Perhaps you'll be one of those persons who will "feel" him next to you at times. I've never been so lucky. Dad has been gone about 8 years. I saw him in a dream once in all that time - he was funny and looked great! He's also been on my mind constantly during this election, because (as a journalist) he was so involved in analysis, opinion, etc. And he would have worked all night on election night. He will always be "with me", but I still crave to "feel" him more clearly and/or to see him more in dreams. Thanks for sharing your feeling. Gee, this is a long post.......

Roban said...

What a wacky dream! Even though you added a touch of humor, I can see that you miss your father so much... I know how it feels and how hard it is to really, really acknowledge that the vacation won't end with a return trip to this Earthly home. I talked to my mom practially every day, so when she passed away, it truly left an empty space in my life, but luckily the space in my heart stayed full with her love and the memories I hold of her.

You were blessed to have a father you could depend on, even now as an adult! And from what you have said about him, he sounds like a father and grandfather to be epecially proud of!

I hope your days are sunny this week and that your dreams are a little less... strange!


carrhop said...

I am so glad you have so many amazing memories and smiles and sweet times to hold as treasure as you reflect on your father's life. Thank you for sharing this glimpse of him with us~

Thanks also for your sweet comments for 4 of 8. She is doing well, had a restful night and is being a good (and hungry) patient.


Jennifer Chronicles ( said...

oh, that last line sunk me. I miss my dad, too.

miruspeg said...

Your subconscious mind is similar to your conscious mind, so many things running through your head trying to get out!

When we spoke on the phone the other day, I meant to ask you how you were coping not having your father I know.

Really pleased you wrote this piece about your father and whenever you feel the urge again spill it out, it is very least that is what I do, helps immensely.

Hey I love the song 'Pictures of you'....I have now included it in my playlist, hope you don't mind.

Speaking of songs, one of Coldplays new songs '42' has the line:
'Those who are dead are not dead
They’re just living in my head', I really like this song, bit slow and a bit morbid, but it helps me in a good way remember the people I love who are no longer here on earth.

While I have your attention, thanks for the insight about your childhood you posted on my blog.
I love your openness and your ability to talk about it.

I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!


MrsPeel said...

I m feeling deep this one, with you.
I havent lost my dad, Tank God he is still with us, though what prompt e to make the desition of spending all that money in going to South America next year was something that made me think he may have make the desition that his time with us may be coming to an end....
And, though I will not feel in the intesnsity you do feel it now, as I haven't lived in the same city (or country, or continent!) for years and years, both my parents played a huge role in my life, allways.
Not only when I was growing up, but even when I started on my own, when I moved cities and countries, they have always been there for us....

I dont think there is much to say, appart from the feeling I did get when my grandma, my mum's mum, who was everything to me, died when I was 16....I kept waking up with her, like that.
Either would be a phone call, or her knocking on my door with a breakfast try...I couldn't see her, but did clearly hear her...and woke up.

I personally think it is them, you know, communicating, telling us that they are there, watching for us.....

This stroke a tear or two in me right now.
The more I read and see from you, the nearer, closer I feel and I'm glad we got to *meet*.
I really wish I could be nearer physically...
yes, I know, I could not mow your garden, but I could ask Sarita to do it for you!!! :)
Lots of huggzz and all my love

Eva Helen said...

Thank you for your comment in my blog.
I remember you once send me your e-mailadress, but I can't find it.
If you want to, I would be happy to write more personally with you.

And of course, I would like to meet yoy in 2010:).

Hilsen Eva Helen

corinne5 said...

I know 100% for sure it was your dad's spirit speaking to you in your dream, just saying hi. He is never far away.


MJ said...

You need a hug.

He sounds like such a lovely man. You are lucky to have those memories of him. You are lucky he popped in for a visit in your dream.

I'd offer to mow your lawn but I hate how dust gets stuck in my teeth. Yuck!

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