I have an interesting outlook on life, but I don't think it is much different from many other American moms out there. We feel we don't have enough money. Now I am not including those out there that truly don't have money. I am speaking of the middle income American with a home and two cars and 2.3 kids (the 0.3 is the dog in our case.)
Every payday, I plan where all the money will go - $75 a week for groceries, $40 a week for fuel, mortgage, utilities, insurance, dance school, eating out once a week because we aren't home, entertainment for the kids (entry to zoos, museums, fairs), etc. There are two things missing from this mix: the first being a tithe of my income (we can discuss that later) and the second is putting anything away just to dress myself. I have not purchased clothes for myself since before my trip for Norway and even that I had saved for 3 years to do. (My trip budget included travel clothing.)
Why is it that I have no qualms over dropping money to clothe my children or to take them to a street fair, but when I need a new pair of pants or shoes, I hem and haw and put it off and then just never buy them? Case in point: I was looking at my favorite trousers this morning and realized that I got those in 2004 when I received a scholarship to go to California for an educators conference. At that same time, I bought a tan pair of cropped trousers, a brown dress, a jacket two shirts. Those things are still in my closet and I still wear them to this day.
This in no way is a cry out of poverty. It's just about a certain mentality that prevents me from valuing myself enough to spend even $20 on a new shirt or $40 on a pair of pants and CERTAINLY NOT $100 on a pair of boots even though winter is coming and I could use them. This is just me realizing that somewhere there IS money because just this week, I had to drop $450 on car service when my car broke down last week. Meanwhile, I will more than likely have enough money to feed my kids for the next two weeks.
So where does this money blindness come from. I am pretty sure when I added everything up at the beginning of the month, I allowed for everything that we needed, and when I got to the end of the mental ledger, the final balance was zero. How is it then that I can drop a huge chunk of change on this car and still make it to the end of month? Do you realize how many pair of boots I could have bought with that?? Yet, here I stand bare legged.
I just say this because, this month the large sum of money went to a very important piece of equipment so I am glad I didn't buy a pair of boots. But when do I finally say yes to myself and give in and buy something for myself? When do I decide I am worth a shirt, a pair of pants or (dare I say it?) a new pair of boots? When??
This next payday is dedicated to Christmas, but after that I would really like to show how important I am to myself by setting aside money to buy things for me. 'Cause truly, what am I teaching my children about valuing themselves if I am only showing them that mom is only here to take care of them. This goes not only for money but also for time...but I could write another whole post about how I budget my time shows I value my children far more than I value my mental health.
So until next time, ask yourself this, how much do show appreciation to yourself? What do you do to show yourself that you are valuable?
And now for some photos from yesterday's Krist Kindl Market and last night's
Salado Stroll.
Didn't buy that either even though I liked it. I was fascinated by this lady's sand jars that were really votive holders.
Wish she used other colors though. Mmm! Street food. A couple singing John Lennon's "So This is Christmas"