Hidden Rules & Common Courtesy

I was taking my son to daycare this morning and some questions occurred to me. It was all a matter of courtesy and hidden social rules.

  1. The school has a large parking lot. Most parents are trying to get a child or two out of the back seat. Why do people feel they must park in the space right next to you when there are 20+ spaces available elsewhere? There you are pulling your child out of the car, door wide open so you don't bump his head and along comes Mr./Mrs. Impatient who noses his/her car into the space next to you as if to say..."I'm in a hurry." Listen mister/lady...I am in a hurry too, but I am going to slow down just to impede your progress.
  2. When you are entering a building and you know that someone is walking up behind you with child in tow, how close to you do they have to be in order for you to have to wait and hold the door for them?
  3. Inversely, when a person is holding a door for you even when you are clearly too far away for them to need to do it for you, how fast do you need to walk when wearing dress shoes? Is there an obligation to hurry up? I tell you what...when I have dress shoes on, even low ones, I am not a fast walker. Then you see the person standing there holding the door open waiting for you...Believe you me...you feel obligated.
  4. This brings to mind something else in the area of door holding. How should you hold a door open? (I know the real answer.) Do you open the door first and wait for that person who is far away to come and then enter yourself? Do you do the modern, walk through the door with your children, prop the door open while you are halfway in method to let the person know you saw them and didn't want to slam the door in their face? Do you just decide they are too far away to hold the door so you slip in, acting as if you didn't see them, even though they parked RIGHT NEXT TO YOU while you were trying to get your child out of the back seat of your car?
Maybe there is a better solution??
Then again, maybe not.

There are hidden rules in society. You feel everyone knows them, but really they don't.

I have more questions, but they have to do with things like grocery store behavior, handicapped parking use and the like. Since I travel with a 5 year old who doesn't understand half of my ranting and a teenager who could care less, I have to share my thoughts here.

Comments

Julie Tucker-Wolek said…
I totally hear u!!!!! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
June 17, 2010 at 11:08 PM
miruspeg said…
Well in 2 weeks time Annemarie you can share your thoughts with me face to face for 6 weeks!

I wonder what the etiquette for door opening and holding in Norway is? We'll soon find out!

Peggy xxxxx
June 18, 2010 at 7:40 AM
Andre Rodriguez said…
Ah... yeah... door holding. Being raised by a mother who expected me to open doors for her (and rightfully so), I hold the door open for women all the time. Most older women will say 'Thank You,' but I've had many, many youngish middle agey women just walk on through with out a word. Makes me want to jerk them back out the door by their hair so I can slam the door on them. Would that be considered socially correct. B-I
June 18, 2010 at 8:32 AM
McMGrad89 said…
Andre, I think I know that mom.

Peg, I look forward to your arrival...better get on the stick, Annemarie
June 18, 2010 at 9:40 AM
Shan in Japan said…
I was so surprised when I moved to Texas and people held the door open, especially men. I don't know what feminist women complain about!
Anyway, it is a dilemma! I think I surprise Japanese people when I open the door for them-or is because I am a foreigner? I don't know which. Look forward to more questions like this in the future:)
June 19, 2010 at 11:59 PM
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