When I began this blog, the hardest part was coming up with a name that would accurately convey what the purpose of this endeavor was. I sat for a while trying to decide why I would want to blog in the first place and realized, as I have mentioned before, that I have so much “stuff” (a word I don’t allow my students to use) floating around in my head that occasionally I needed an outlet.
Anyone who knows me in real life has seen me just walk up and begin a conversation as if the other person had been inside my head listening to my internal dialogue. It usually begins with the word, “so.” I even do this on the phone with my brother, mother and cousin. It often sounds like this:
So I was going down the street the other day, when out of the blue a man runs across the road behind the car carrying a backpack dressed like a Ninja sans mask, stopping along the side of the road as he traveled, periodically pretending to check an imaginary watch, crouching and spinning around Ninja-style….
(By the way, this actually happened.)
Because of this style of speaking, I knew that I would have to have my blog be of the same nature, bringing the reader into my head as if they had been there all along. (A little confusing at times I am sure.)
SO today when I was creating my header, my brain began to wander off into the meaning of the word “just.” I looked it up and according to Merriam-Webster.com:
The first meaning had never crossed my mind: 1) joust (archaic) – Having never jousted, I don’t think that is what I meant.
Next: 2) Reasonable, fair, righteous (adjective.) Although I hope I am those things when working, I don’t find myself to be to reasonable nor righteous in my thinking, driving 80 miles an hour to overcome an hour and half delay in my trip due to my forgetfulness, saying pseudo-curse words under my breath at the rancher who is just taking his usual 60 mile an hour trip from his ranch to visit with his good ole boys at the local coffee shop or feed store.
Finally: 3) exactly, precisely (adverb.) There are more, but when I read this one I said….”That’s IT!” That’s JUST the word I was thinking of.
When I get an idea, it has to come out exactly when I think it, or I am unable to precisely express what I wanted to say. This often comes across as abrupt or dare I say, rude to many people, but if I don’t do it, the idea is gone. Gone the way of the dodo bird, never to be seen again. I can’t even stop to write it down because it loses all sense and meaning on paper. The length of time it takes me to find a pencil and pad is usually too long for me to retain that thought.
So there it is - the origin of my title. My brain full of things falling out onto the computer screen for all the world to see, but only shared with a handful of my “closest” cyber friends who are willing to wade through my ramblings that begin as if they had been there in my head all along.
To those wonderful friends, thank you. Thank you for reading and commenting and sharing your thoughts in the same way, helping me realize like I am not the only one out there in the world thinking and feeling what I am.