Be Happy Anyway

Be Happy Anyway
From Brave Girls Club

Friday, August 8, 2008

He's Gone

and I can't truly grasp it. I still think that I can push #4 on my cell phone and he will answer. That when I get a flat on the side of the road or can't start my car, he will come to the rescue. Unfortunately, this will no longer be the case.

When I got to the hospital with my mother this morning, the doctors told her that dad's breathing was indicative of someone who had only hours to live. This turned out to be the case. We all sat around talking and telling stories on each other and him laughing and crying all the way.

We were fortunate to have our pastor there when he passed. I saw it happen first and said something and my mom's best friend said, "He's gone." It was the strangest thing. You would think that it would be more...I don't know...more something. (Gee, has anyone who knows me ever seen me at a loss for words?) But then it was just over. The pastor began to read some scripture when we realized that one of the aunts was out of the room with my daughter. I, being a person who doesn't handle strong emotions well, volunteered to go find her and went downstairs with mom's friend. Said friend went into the dining hall and told my aunt and sat with my daughter while I gathered my self together. Then came the time I had to tell my daughter that her Papa was gone.

I just sat there watching her eat her pizza and listened to her go on about how great it was and how the crust tasted like French bread...It was so interesting. When she was done, we went for a walk out to the garden and sat down. Explaining things like death are hard for any person at any age, but my daughter has Asperger's and many times has a hard time understanding certain concepts. After a brief talk, however, she was able to tell me that her Papa had died. The rest of the afternoon she spent folding origami and eating snacks that her aunts and uncles would buy her from the vending machine. For my girl, life would go on at least for now. I know that reality will set in when she goes to my mother's and sees Papa's chair empty. Now all that is left is to explain to my three year old that his Papa whom he knew was very sick will never be coming home. We will see how that goes.

Thanks again for "listening." Your friendships mean so much to me.

10 comments:

Jan said...

Oh gosh, Annemarie. I'm so sorry. I appreciate your sharing the experience and your feelings in the blog. God bless you!

Yvonne said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family our in my prayers. Take care of yourself and your family

Deanna said...

I'm so sorry sweetie...
I wish I could do more to ease your pain...
love to you, d

Trish said...

I'm so sorry, my thoughts & prayers go out to you and your family...

Heather said...

I am so sorry. It sounds like he is definitely in a more wonderful place now. No matter the age of the parent it is always hard when they leave though. I will be thinking of you and your family.

Jen said...

I will have you, your Mom, your kids, and all of those who's life your Dad touches- in my prayers--for it is so much harder for the one left behind on Earth than the one who leaves to spend eternity with God. Please KNOW I am here to listen, make a meal, watch the kids--anything you need-anything

Jen said...

I will have-you and your Mom and your daughter and your son and everyone who's life your Dad touched- in my prayers for it is so much sadder for the ones left behind on Earth than the ones who has left to spend eternity with God. Please KNOW that I am here to talk, cook a meal, watch the kids---anything you need-anything

Sharmaine said...

Hugs Annemarie!
Thinking of you and your family.

letti said...

i'm sorry to hear about your loss, hun. *huggggggsss*

MJ said...

I am so sorry to read of your father's passing. May you find comfort in your memories and knowing that he's at peace now. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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