Attention All Produce Managers
Attention all produce managers:
If you see this man enter your department, please send him away. Tell him his wife said, "Go home."
Why do I send out this fervent plea? To answer this question, please examine exhibit #1.
My husband has the best of intentions. He wants to eat healthy, and I can tell when he is trying to kick junk food, because the grocery bags are full of produce. I don't know how many times I have explained to him that no matter how many bananas (or apples, or grapes, or watermelons) that you buy. They are not healthy if you don't eat them. I don't know how many banana breads I have had to make over the years because of overripe bananas. He also buys watermelons and cantaloupes which - due to severe allergies - I cannot even touch. I remind him daily, "Please cut up that melon, today!" Unfortunately, it never happens. Then I am left with the unpleasant task of throwing it away.
So to prevent the senseless demise of future bananas and melons please turn him away from your department. My sanity depends upon it.
If you see this man enter your department, please send him away. Tell him his wife said, "Go home."
My husband has the best of intentions. He wants to eat healthy, and I can tell when he is trying to kick junk food, because the grocery bags are full of produce. I don't know how many times I have explained to him that no matter how many bananas (or apples, or grapes, or watermelons) that you buy. They are not healthy if you don't eat them. I don't know how many banana breads I have had to make over the years because of overripe bananas. He also buys watermelons and cantaloupes which - due to severe allergies - I cannot even touch. I remind him daily, "Please cut up that melon, today!" Unfortunately, it never happens. Then I am left with the unpleasant task of throwing it away.
So to prevent the senseless demise of future bananas and melons please turn him away from your department. My sanity depends upon it.
Comments
Hahaha. What a funny post. Gosh, Gary's turned into a chunk. Don't tell him I said so. I don't want him to squash me with his chunkiness.