So I Was Just Thinking

I am not sure how many posts I have started that try to give an example of the craziness known as the thoughts that run through my mind. Let's try again, today. This morning, I got up early like I usually do to meet my friends for my Saturday morning run. It was still dark out and no one in their right mind is up at this time on Saturdays. I have a new neighbor, and I noticed that the lights are on in their kitchen. However, I don't think anyone has moved in officially. I have seen the owner and her parents working on the yard and such, but no boxes have moved in yet. So I started thinking about all the things that probably needed to be done on her house, and that got me thinking about the things that need to be done on my house. This led me to think about the honey-do list Bobby had before he passed away. Suddenly I was picturing the hole in the fence and felt sad that he will not be here to fix it. As I was winding my way to meet my friends, I found myself crying. What is...

I took one of those online quizzes on Facebook about which part of the brain I use the most. According to the test I use both halves equally. I posted the results and one of your former bosses and friends, J.S., responded with the comment about being left-handed and being his right mind. This made me laugh because you being left-handed used to make the same joke. The conversation continued and led to JS sharing an article about engineering and art: Popular belief is that the left hemisphere of the brain is for rational, analytical and logical thinking and the right hemisphere of the brain processes visual and audio logical stimuli, spatial manipulation, facial perception and artistic ability. Oddly enough, you were the logical, rational one, but you could put things together like nobody's business. You never considered yourself artistic until I shared with you the art of Zentangle . You thought I was the creative, artistic one. This started me thinking about how you and I co...

You and I were a predictable couple. We woke at the same time every morning, texted good morning conversations until we could no longer procrastinate getting up, followed the same morning routines, griped about morning traffic idiots, texted each other throughout the day, came home every evening and packed our lunches for the next day. I had a pink lunch cooler and you had a red one. Mine is much worse for wear, but yours stood the test of time. When you drove home for visits, you would pack two coolers - the lunchbox and a mini Igloo. We learned how to save money while traveling by packing snacks, sandwiches and drinks. You loved my strange whole wheat sandwiches, apple slices, bananas and bean burritos. You fueled your nine-hour drives with bottled water and Dr. Pepper. You loved your Dr. Pepper. Even though you had given them up for Lent on more than one occasion and got on a water kick, you always came back to it. Today, something made me look up at the top of the fridge wh...

We always used to note when we saw 11:11 on the clock or 1111 in an address. It was our thing. It was something that Peggy had shared with me and I had shared with you. It was our way of letting each other know we were thinking of each other. When you passed away, I noticed 1111 all the time. It was special but painful. However, little by little, I catch that time less and less. I might see 11:12 or 10:11, but never 11:11. It bothered me for a while, but then I began noticing something else. 12:12 or 1212. This morning when I got up, these lyrics from an Anna Nalick song (Breathe) came to mind. "Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, boys, So sing it if you understand, And breathe... just breathe, Oh breathe, just breathe" I then got up and went for a run. When I run, my mind wanders all over the place. I hear song lyrics; I have "woulda...

Every morning on my walks, I see a cardinal. This morning he followed me for quite some time. Although I have my phone with me, I am never fast enough to capture a picture of him. However, it gives me a smile nonetheless. I looked up cardinals today and found this description: The cardinal tells you that you can handle challenges, and to believe in yourself. It is important to be proud of yourself for your abilities or for the things you have achieved. This is significant because, you used to tell me how proud you were of me and my accomplishments as a teacher and more importantly as a mother. You always made a point to remind me of everything that I have overcome these past 2 years. That is something I will miss about you. Things you were proud of for me: Having the gumption to get myself out of a difficult situation. Driving a 20 foot moving van while towing the Le Sabre on a flatbed. Being able to ask for help. Taking a job that I didn't want so I could take care of...

It's 7 a.m. and by now I would have texted you "Good morning". It seems strange that two people who lived so far apart could become so integral in each other's lives, yet we did. I'm going to miss our morning wake up texts and end of the day Skype sessions. I will miss driving to work every morning with you letting me talk your ear off about traffic, the songs on the radio, my crazy students, the busy day that lay ahead. No longer will I get to count the number of sleeps until you came back Home. I no longer enjoy tv. It is now just noise because I don't have you there to make running commentaries on instant message. Watching Diners, Drive-ins and Dives is less fun because it reminds me of all of the restaurants on our list that I will have to try without you... and I WILL be trying them without you. I know you would have wanted me to.  Your brother recommended a whole bunch of audio books to listen to. I checked out your library and downloaded ...

I started this blog almost six year ago. And, yes, it has been dormant for a bit. This is mostly because of Facebook. Before Facebook, if my kids did something silly or interesting or if I felt I had something "profound" to say, I would post it on Blogger. Now, it is so quick and easy to share these ramblings as a status update. I am sure many bloggers feel the same way. I do miss the process of blogging. I loved receiving the notifications that people have commented on the blog or looking at the stats to see how many times people have stopped in to see what quip I felt the needed to share with the world. Blogging has brought me many benefits, the greatest of which is the circle of friends I have "collected" over the years. Way back when I blogged regularly, I would correlate music with my post. I would then share the background of the music that was playing with some little bit of my history. I did this using Playlist.com. Unfortunately, Playlist has changed ...