Be Happy Anyway

Be Happy Anyway
From Brave Girls Club

Wednesday, August 8, 2012


The other day I went food shopping. When I came home, I had to clean out the fridge to make room for the new food. (Cait and I had been on a cooking hiatus while James was visiting his dad.)

Many of you have heard about my recent adventures in single mommydom and have sent your regards and best wishes. I am very thankful for your kind words of support.

I came down from Missouri with  what I thought were virtually no resources, just a truck full of belongings that I didn't want to part with because they defined who I was - a person who was formerly successful. They were my trophies I could gaze upon when the going was rough, and I could tell myself, "See, you were able to accumulate all this "wealth" before. You will be able to do it again." It was a very self-centered way of viewing things, but it helped me survive the past two months of joblessness/underemployment.

However, as Caitlin completed the real life game of refrigerator "Tetris," I realized how blessed we are. The State saw fit to give me much of what we needed to survive physically (with a big help from mother and underpaid landlord.) I have friends who were willing to tote the load off of the truck, clean the critters out of the cabinets, hang blinds, assemble furniture...the list goes on.

The fridge and pantry "tetrisally" arranged by Caitlin

If you read the book A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne, you come to understand that there are many kinds of resources out there other than financial resources. These include:
  • Emotional - Being able to choose and control emotional responses
  • Mental - Having the mental abilities and acquired skills to deal with daily life.
  • Spiritual - Believing in divine purpose and guidance. 
  • Physical - Having physical health and mobility.
  • Support Systems - Having friends, family, and backup resources to access in times of need. 
  • Knowledge of Hidden Rules - Knowing the unspoken cues and habits of a group.
So although I was financially impoverished, my life was abundant with the all the other resources. I think I sometimes forget these things. However, the light bill doesn't really care whether I am emotionally or mentally well off. :-)

I would like to thank everyone who has personally helped us through this time. The dark times are slowly coming to an end. The kids and I are finally feeling at home where we are because of you.


miruspeg said...

YOU, my friend, are an amazing woman!
Yes you are blessed. And as we realise how blessed we are our journey becomes that much easier.

I am definitely going to read "A Framework for Understanding Poverty" have been talking about this book since we first made contact with each other over at Scrapblog.

One last thing but certainly not least....I LOVE that song by Phillip Phillips!

Namaste and big, big heart hugs.
Peggy ♥♥♥

Brandi said...

You are a strong woman and very loving mother. This too shall pass! God is good and all will be ok for you I just know it!!!

Marit said...

I love your post today. You are a wise and beautiful woman Annemarie, and I am glad and grateful that I 'know' you (if it is even only online but - you know - one day we will meet!)

Roban said...

Even though my mom had a difficult time financially as a single parent with three girls to raise, I didn't realize that you were going through similar struggles. I'm so sorry. I think you're amazing though, and this post is proof of that. How wonderful that you can see past the temporary hardships to the blessings that have already fallen upon you. It must be a good feeling to have had friends and family helping you get settled into your new home and life and to realize that there is much more to life than money (although enough for light bills, etc. is always good to have on hand).

You mentioned Ruby Payne.... I'm reading another book on poverty called "Teaching With Poverty in Mind" by Eric Jensen. This one deals with the effects of poverty on kids' brains and "what schools can do about it." It looks at those children who don't have the other riches in their lives that you pointed out above. While your children would not fall in this category because they DO have support and other resources, it's a great book to help teachers understand why students from the most impoverished families struggle so much in school.

I'm thinking about you and hoping your blessings continue to take root and grow during this transition time.

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